Showing posts with label list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label list. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Mother's Day Tribute-Yankee Wives

Mother's day is a time to honor the important women in your life. Today, The Chuck Knoblog is going to highlight the numerous Yankee wives in a hot epic list.

10.) Mystery Matsui
Hideki announced last March that he secretly married his longtime girl. He did not reveal any details about her and only showed a sketch of her (right). This announcement came after Matsui made a bet with fellow Yankees, Jeter and Abreu on who would get married
first. Hideki is also known across Japan for his large collection of pornos.

9.) Cynthia Rodriguez
Though they are no longer together I need someone to fill out the bottom of my list. Though Cynthia and Alex have gone through some rough times she still made an SI. If she can crash with Lenny Kravitz in Paris then she can make number 9 on our list.

8.) Allison Jaskowiak Kennedy
Though she could woop my ass Allison comes in at number 8 on our list. IPK's sweetheart overcame bulimia and has a sick jump-shot, which is a very unique skill set.

7.) Leigh Teixeira
Leigh had a major role in Mark coming to the Yankees, so we can thank her for that. Though it seems she wears the pants in the relationship; she still comes in at number 7 on our list. Oh and don't worry; Marky gets his:

6.) Karen Burnett
Not too much is known about A.J. Burnett's lovely wife. We do know that she lives year-round in her hometown of Baltimore with the couple’s two sons Ashton and AJ Jr. There are also rumors that she is a former stripper, which does not come as a shock. Anyway it is hard to put this beauty at number 6 but wait until you see the rest of them.

5.) Amber Sabathia
Amber and CC Sabathia were high school sweethearts and were married on June 9, 2003. Together they have three children and the family is located in Cali. All I can say is: "We know who is on the bottom."

4.) Laura Posada
HIP HIP JORGE! Laura Posada, the co-founder of the Jorge Posada foundation comes in at number 5 on our list. So not only is she smoking
hot she is also working for a cure of cranio-
synostosis. Nice work Jorge.

3.) Michelle Damon
This is around the time in the list where we break the "Ridiculously Hot Barrier". This is another rumored former stripper and she has a bad rep before hooking up with Johnny. Whatever, she fought with Curt Schilling's wife so she is cool with us.

2.) Laura Cover
This is definatly the sleeper of this list. Coming in at number 2 is Aaron Boone's wife Larua. Former playmate, we still don't know what Boone did to be worthy of this. She was Miss October for PlayBoy; weird right?

1.) Danielle Gamba
Swisher strikes again as his wife takes the top spot in our Mother's Day countdown. All I can really say is "Damn".

Monday, March 23, 2009

What's Next for Schilling?


Now that everyone's favorite Red Sox is done with baseball (for now). I can only wonder at what Curt is going to do with all of his free time. All that talent will be used, but for what? Here is a short list of things he should attempt in his future:

10.) Mall Cop- Everyone knows that the position of mall cop is on the rise. Not only is this position a good way for Curt to let off some steam; there is nothing that Curt loves more than a stern verbal (possibly physical) warning to the hoodlums who roam his consumer kingdom.

9.) Heinz Spokesperson- Now we all know that Curt is a strong supporter of Heinz. I am thinking of a full ad campaign, naked, or as close to naked as National TV can go. I am thinking the Dove Women ad but with Curt, horizontal. Will it be sell ketchup? Hell Yes.

8.) Karl Rove Apprentice- We all know that Curt is an unabashed right winger and supporter of the Republican Party, so who better to learn from than Karl Rove? And if Curt and Karl don't get along, I'm sure the Fox News team has a spot waiting for him.

7.) Border Patrol Vigilante- Anything with Vigilante in the title appeals to Curt's selective skill set, but Border Patrol jumps out because of the perks. No rules, so abuse is no problem. Curt can harass minorities with virtually no regulation, and you get a sweet badge. Also the thrill for working for your country and giving jobs back to blue collar Americans!

6.) Disgruntled Postal Service Employee- One of the requirements for working at the Post Office is to have something long shoved up your ass, Curt has this and more. This will also give Curt control over everyone's mail, the Newman complex.

5.) NY Post Headline Writer- This is a dream job, but takes true skill, not just anyone can come up with gems such as A-HOLE. Just think of the headlines, if this is his choice I will be signing up for a lifetime subscription.

4.) Commissioner of Baseball- Curt has a lot of opinions, and should know a little something about baseball after twenty years in the bigs. As Bud Selig approaches his mid-hundreds, who better to succeed him? Curt will lead the crusade against steroids (which he surely never used as a member of the Phillies in the early 1990's), and govern MLB with an iron fist.

3.) Professional Eater - Curt has never been a svelte man, so why not take it a step further? Given his ever-increasing weight over the last few years and the competitive spirit that comes with being a World Champion, Curt could be a real threat to Joey Chestnut's crown.

2.) Satan - The Prince of Darkness, what characteristic doesn't Schilling possess?

1.) Sports Broadcaster- Few people love to hear themselves talk more than Curtis Montague Schilling, and who wouldn't love to hear Curt explain why Josh Becket is the epitome of athleticism and A-Rod will never win a championship? I can only imagine the possibilities of a World Series booth containing Joe Buck, Tim McCarver, and Curt himself.